I'm Getting a Sports Complex

Bryce Harper: Year Three

Well, what will 2021 bring for the savior of the franchise?

Published March 30, 2021

Two years ago, with all of us still wrapped up in Brycemania, I made some quick projections on how Bryce Harper would fare in 2019, his first season in Phillies pinstripes.

Those projections…

145 games played, .273, 38 HR, 95 RBI, 105 runs, 8 steals.

Here's what he actually did…

157 games played, .260, 35 HR, 114 RBI, 98 runs, 15 steals.

Not bad, I'd say. Some thoughts…

Harper had a rough patch in the middle of the year power-wise, keeping him to "only" 35 bombs.
The batting average never really materialized. He seemed to settle into a new norm.
The RBI were great, but the runs were disappointing, which wasn't totally his fault. Other guys failed to knock him in enough.
Harper ran a surprisingly high number of times, stealing bags on 15 of his 18 attempts.

Now, I was probably going to continue my preseason projections in 2020, but the pandemic put a stop to that, and the 60-game fake season restart that we got didn't feel like it merited any prognostications.

Here we are, however, on the cusp of a (supposed) 162-game season. And so it's time to make some more Bryce picks.

First, major credit to Harper for playing some smart baseball and staying healthy, as he seems to have left some of his reckless tendencies behind him. Let's pencil him in for about 153 games, giving us plenty of opportunity for big numbers.

How big are we going to go with the home runs? Harper's career high is 42. And while I don't think he'll hit that number, I'm going to project 40 on the nose. He'll put together an insane hot streak or two, and that will help him to get there.

In a corresponding number, I'll give him 105 RBI. And I also believe that the capable hitters behind him will drive him home enough that he eclipses the century mark in runs scored.

As for running, I'm intrigued that Harper was 8 for 10 in steal attempts in just 58 games last year. This leads me to believe that he'll attempt 20-odd thefts on the year. I'll say that he ends up nabbing somewhere in the teens.

I don't have great hopes for the batting average, but it honestly doesn't matter much at this point. I mean, he can't go hitting .208, but an average in the .260s is much more acceptable than it used to be, especially when you consider how much of an on-base machine Harper is.

My picks to click...

153 games played, .263, 40 HR, 105 RBI, 102 runs, 16 SB.

Maybe this sounds overly simplistic, but I think Bryce thrives on the crowd more than most players and will be jacked even more than usual to be back playing in front of fans in 2021. That can only mean good things for the Phils. I also realize that these are just surface numbers, but I figured you didn’t want me getting into his WAR or his Ultimate Zone Rating on defense, or anything else like that.

Come on back in six months to either confirm my genius or laugh at how wrong I was.

Bryce Harper of the Philadelphia Phillies admires his hat on PhillySportsComplex.

Find yourself a person who looks at you the way Bryce Harper looks at his hat. (Getty Images)

Well, I guess Matt Niskanen was the Flyers’ linchpin

One player shouldn't make or break a team, but here we are.

Published March 20, 2021

Their recent win over the New York Islanders aside, the Philadelphia Flyers obviously haven’t fared as well as hoped, as we’re now at the midpoint of this abbreviated 56-game season. Not every game has been as much of a defensive disaster as Wednesday’s historic abomination against the Rangers, but the team has been much more deficient in their own end ever since last year’s playoff bubble.

It’s not breaking new ground to suggest that the retirement of Matt Niskanen is a major factor in the team’s defensive struggles, and I’m not pointing the finger and “blaming” this on him, but it simply can’t be ignored.

Niskanen’s retirement forced the Flyers to pivot to re-signing Justin Braun. And actually...I think Braun has been good for the most part. He’s sitting at a team-leading +10 rating, and he actually grades out pretty well in the advanced analytics department. Sussing through those numbers, he’s made a surprise improvement since last year, and he’s doing it while averaging 18:24 per game, up from 17:16 last year.

So, a nice job by Braun, but this isn’t ideal. Once Niskanen hung up the skates, the hope was that increased ice time for the likes of Travis Sanheim and Phillippe Myers could help fill some of the gap that he left. It hasn’t worked out well so far. With each player seeing about an extra minute and a half of ice time this year, their advanced stats are in the dumper compared to last season, and they’re each sporting a gruesome -9, though most of that can be pinned on their matching -6 performances in the team’s 9-0 embarrassment.

Simply put, when you subtract a steady element like Niskanen, it puts increased pressure on everyone else to perform. Sanheim and Myers excelled in their roles last year, and haven’t done so when asked to do more this season. Neither is a finished product yet, but eventually you are what the numbers say you are, so there has to be concern in the organization about their failure to step up when needed this year. As an added bonus, they’re both struggling to match their scoring rates from last season as well.

And then there’s Ivan Provorov, who put together the best season of his career when paired with Niskanen. He’s up over 25 minutes per game this year, which is starting to get ridiculous. The Flyers’ resident iron man isn’t having a great season, but I’m not ready to throw in the towel on him yet. Still, maybe we’re talking about a guy whose career trajectory will ultimately be that of a rock-solid #2 defenseman, rather than a truly elite one. And that’s ok if other pieces are in place, though they unfortunately don’t seem to be at the moment.

Matt Niskanen isn’t responsible for Carter Hart’s inability to make timely saves, but his absence is no doubt allowing opponents to generate more shots and more dangerous scoring chances than when he was on the club last year. And not to get too deep into a goaltender’s mentality, but you have to believe that they take the team’s personnel into account and adjust their confidence accordingly. Hart could be putting too much of this on himself, as this team’s defensive confidence was definitely higher last year with Niskanen.

Missing a key defensive cog also has an impact on the team’s forwards, who are forced to do more to help out in their own end. Last year, Sean Couturier finally captured his long-awaited Selke Trophy. I’m not saying that Matt Niskanen is the reason for that, but Coots was able to play a more focused two-way game rather than covering up for teammate’s shortcomings. This year, no such luck. Couturier is still playing well, but he’s not in the Selke conversation.

Yes, the Flyers surely miss Matt Niskanen, whether you’re looking at their PK numbers, video of how they play in their own end all too frequently, or just their current sad position in the standings. Again, no blame is to be had, and Niskanen shouldn’t be so vital that the team falls apart without him. But this is all worth mentioning when telling the tale of the 2020-21 Flyers. They have a chance to change the narrative, but time is getting short.

'Twas but a scratch. (Yong Kim/Inquirer Staff)

Picking the WIP Award Winners (Part 2)

Finishing up my picks for WIP’s latest argument-starter

Published February 19, 2021

Welcome back for Part 2 of my selections for the super-important WIP Awards. I assume you already read Part 1 and are familiar with the setup for this. If not, scroll down, read it, then scroll back up to this part. (Thanks, website format!)

These categories were created by WIP, but I've also thrown in some BONUS ones of my own.

Anyway, here we go with more awards for the "best" of Philadelphia sports since the year 2000...

Phillies Player

All you can do is write down several of the players from the 2008 team, toss the names in a hat, and pull one out. Each has their own merits. Just to remind you...

Cole Hamels - 2008 NLCS and World Series MVP. The best home-grown pitcher the Phillies have produced in generations.

Jimmy Rollins - The franchise's all-time hits leader, a four-time Gold Glove winner, and the 2007 NL MVP.

Ryan Howard - 2005 Rookie of the Year, 2006 NL MVP, 3-time MLB RBI leader.

Chase Utley - The Man. 6-time All-Star, 4-time Silver Slugger.

If you take any one of these players off the team, the Phillies don't win a ring. But in a very close call over Hamels, I'm making what probably will be an unpopular decision and going with Ryan Howard. His peak was too brief, but from 2006-2011, he averaged 44 home runs and 133 RBI per year. If you can't get behind that, you're crazy.

*BONUS CATEGORY* WORST PHILLIE

I feel like a kid in a candy store on this one. I could use this as yet another opportunity to talk about someone I just hate even though they were good, but you’ve read enough of my Scott Rolen ramblings. Similarly, I won’t pick resident jerks like Billy Wagner or Jonathan Papelbon. I’ll go with Adam Eaton, a pitcher so bad that he got booed at the World Series parade and the ring ceremony. Shoutout to Phillippe Aumont and his career 6.80 ERA.

Eagles Player

Since I already declared Brian Dawkins the top athlete of the 2000's in Part 1 of this article, he's the easy pick for this category as well. Next.

76ers Player

I really wanted to go with Joel Embiid here, but he simply hasn't played long enough to supplant Allen Iverson. AI's first few seasons came before the 2000 cutoff, but he did more than enough in 6+ years after that point to still hold the top spot for the Sixers.

Flyers Player

It's Claude Giroux, and it's not even close. When you look at Flyers history, all of their category leaders were from last century, outside of Giroux and maybe Simon Gagne and Jakub Voracek. Let's hope that Carter Hart stakes a claim as the greatest Flyer of the 21st century in the coming years.

*BONUS CATEGORY* WORST FLYER

I detested Mike Rathje during his short stint with the team. Similarly, Vincent Lecavalier was a washed-up bum by the time he got to Philadelphia. But in terms of the actual worst hockey player, I’m going with Billy Tibbetts. You can read his Wikipedia page and then let me know why the Flyers (or anyone) ever wanted him.

Role Player (non-starter)

Another strange one for WIP to include, as you can take this any number of ways. The first person that jumps to mind here is Brad Lidge. Does he count as a "role" player? Well, he had a pretty important role for the Phillies. If WIP meant this category to mean something more like "unsung hero", then...I don't know...Jon Dorenbos?

Best Game

I'll save the suspense and just tell you it's Super Bowl LII. How could it not be? We all got the greatest thrill of our sports lives, and it was an objectively great game on top of that.

Honorable Mentions: The multi-day Game 5 of the 2008 World Series, where Mother Nature and Bud Selig did their best to rob us of a title. The Flyers five-overtime win over the Penguins in 2000. Also, any playoff win over the Penguins. A Game 7 OT win in Washington in 2008. The Sixers winning Game 1 of the 2001 Finals in L.A., just don't ask how the rest of the series went.

*BONUS CATEGORY* BEST REGULAR SEASON GAME

All of the above were playoff games, and with good reason. But the regular season makes up more than 90% of the games, so let's throw it some love. There was LeSean McCoy's romp through the snow in a 2013 Eagles win. The Birds also had a pair of memorable late-season wins over the Cowboys: a Christmas Day victory in Dallas in 2006 and a winner-take-all 44-6 demolition of them in Week 17 of 2008. For the Phillies, how about Roy Halladay's perfecto? Or the 11-10 win over Billy Wagner and the Mets on August 30, 2007 during the pennant race? Almost exactly a year later, the Phils would overcome a 7-0 deficit to those same Mets to win 8-7 in 13 innings. But I'm going to go with the 2009-10 Flyers regular season finale, a shootout victory over the hated Rangers. The Flyers made the playoffs on the strength of the victory and sent the Rangers golfing. It also helps that they rode that momentum all the way to the Cup Final that year, making their April 11, 2010 victory stand out even more. I also wanted to mention the Flyers finally getting their first outdoor win two seasons ago at the Linc over the Penguins.

*BONUS BONUS CATEGORY* WORST GAME

The Eagles had a pair of unsightly home losses in NFC title games, but the Phillies' 1-0 defeat at the hands of the Cardinals in the 2011 NLDS stands alone as the most devastating loss in a generation. They wasted a great effort from Roy Halladay, and Ryan Howard suffered his Achilles injury to cap off what still stands as the Phillies' most recent playoff game.

Honorable Mention: The Flyers losing Game 7 of the 2000 Eastern Conference Finals at home to the Devils when Eric Lindros' head came off.

Best Trade

I guess we'll just focus on how much the return helped the Philadelphia club involved, without worrying too much about what was given up. The Phillies are in the mix for the Brad Lidge trade, as well as Roy Halladay. And lest we not forget that the Eagles brought in the likes of Terrell Owens and Jason Peters via trade.

But I'm going to go with one of the deals that the Flyers made on June 23, 2011, one of the craziest days in franchise history. They dealt Jeff Carter to Columbus in exchange for Jakub Voracek and a draft pick which turned into Sean Couturier. A decade later, the two have combined for over 1300 games and nearly 1000 points with the Flyers. Pretty solid.

Draft Steal

The Flyers have had some very nice mid- to late-first round selections, but I don't think you could call them "steals". Similarly, I don't think any Sixers picks qualify based on where they were selected. Top picks need to play like it, or they're busts.

I'm going to go with a Phillies pick, mildly surprising since they have drafted so terribly for the past decade. But if you reach all the way back to the fifth round (140th pick) in 2001, they unearthed Ryan Howard. The rest, they say, is history.

Honorable Mentions: A bunch of Eagles...Brian Westbrook (3rd round, 2002); Trent Cole (5th round, 2005); Brent Celek (5th round, 2007); Jason Kelce (6th round, 2011); Nick Foles (3rd round, 2012). Unfortunately, the Eagles mysteriously stopped attending the NFL draft a few years ago. Let's hope they get back to it soon.

I was going to do a "worst draft pick" category, but I don't have enough time in my schedule to go down the list.

That'll wrap up the WIP Awards on my end. Try not to get too mad when the actual winners aren't as good as my picks.

I remember this like it was 95 years ago. (Barbara Johnston/Inquirer Staff)

Picking the WIP Award Winners (Part 1)

Let's play along with 94 WIP's latest gimmick.

Published February 12, 2021

From the sports radio station who brought you their "once and for all" series of Philadelphia sports debates last year comes a rehash of the same things we always talk about. In this case, it's picking the best of Philadelphia sports this century (which goes back to 2000, in case you forgot.)

This is Part 1 of me sussing through the stated categories (and creating new ones in the form of BONUS CATEGORIES) to declare what the best choices are. And, as per my usual way of operating, I'm only sticking to the four major teams, so apologies to college teams like Villanova basketball, athletes from individual sports, and a few racehorses. Ok, I think I've set this up sufficiently, so let's go…

Overall Philadelphia Sports Franchise

Since 2000, the Phillies have appeared in two World Series, winning one. The Eagles have appeared in two Super Bowls, winning one. The real tiebreaker here is that the Phillies, while they had a tremendous five year stretch from 2007-2011, didn't make the playoffs in the seven years before that run or in the nine years since. So, thanks to being more consistent over the past two decades, the Philadelphia Eagles are your winners. That's something you won't be hearing too much in the near future, unfortunately.

Team of the 2000's (single season)

Do you have to win a title to be considered for this? Because the 2011 Phillies were the best team that we've seen in a generation before they unceremoniously lost in the first round of the playoffs. Owing to this, I guess it's the 2017 Eagles by default since they had to go through the Patriots to win a title. No disrespect to those 2008 Phillies, who had to topple the mighty Rays. I know; this is a boring pick.

*BONUS CATEGORY* WORST TEAM

We've got a lot more contenders to work with here. The 2006-07 Flyers finished dead last by a mile, and then managed to lose the draft lottery, missing out on the player who'd score a Stanley Cup-winning goal against them three years later. It was a new level of pain. The 2012 and 2020 versions of the Eagles each only won four games, and got their coaches fired. The Phillies were so laughably bad in 2000 that I wrote a whole series of articles on it, and the 2015 version was even worse. But the 2015-16 76ers take the cake. They went 10-72, which included a rip-roaring 1-30 start to the year, four separate losing streaks of at least 12 games, and no back-to-back wins all season. Trust the process.

Athlete of the 2000's

How do we pick this? Do we merely put the best player from each team into a hat and then pick a winner? Without thinking too deeply, I'm going to declare Brian Dawkins the winner. Since this is a "since 2000" award, we lose the first four years of his Hall of Fame career, but that still gives us nine stellar seasons to work with.

Honorable Mentions: Several of the 2008 Phillies, and the top Sixers and Flyers players, who I'll get to in Part 2. Jason Peters before he turned into a joke.

Coach/Manager of the 2000's

In terms of longevity and winning one of those elusive titles, Charlie Manuel checks the boxes. Doug Pederson won't get a chance to stake his claim. The other coaches to lead a team to the finals in their sport were Peter Laviolette (wasn't here long enough) and Larry Brown (was that this century? Sheesh.) As for Andy Reid, he needed to do a better job.

*BONUS CATEGORY* WORST COACH/MANAGER

Again, we've had some doozies. I'll take Eddie Jordan as the worst Sixers coach. For the Eagles, Chip Kelly turned out to be a disaster, but I don't know if he truly reached the requisite level of being terrible. Gabe Kapler was cringe-inducing, but he wasn't quite bad enough. It's really a two-horse race between Ryne Sandberg and Dave Hakstol. Hakstol had some early success, but it was eventually shown that he didn't know what he was doing. I largely blame Flyers management for handing the reins to someone who wasn't qualified. That leaves Ryne Sandberg as the winner/loser. He took over a sinking ship, but many people had high hopes for him. After two years of disappointment, however, he quit the team in the middle of its God awful 2015 campaign. He hasn't been heard from since. Nice job.

Executive of the 2000's

It kind of depends on how you feel about Howie Roseman. Do you forgive all because he won a Super Bowl, or do you take him to task for how he's mangled things since then? I'll go with Pat Gillick, who admittedly was able to take advantage of the foundation built by his predecessor Ed Wade (ugh), but managed to make the correct moves and got us a championship in his three years as Phillies GM before stepping down. One has to think that the Phils would have added another trophy over the next few years if he were still calling the shots instead of Ruben Amaro Jr.

Moment of the 2000's

This is tricky. Can the best moment just be, like, the end of a great win, especially one that produces a championship? Or should we try to look at individual happenings within a game that thrilled us beyond belief? In this vein, I'm going to go with The Philly Special, because nobody saw that coming, and it was an amazing moment that made us all go "OH MY GOD DOUG PEDERSON IS A GENIUS WHO WILL DEFINITELY BE HERE FOR WAY MORE THAN THREE SEASONS AFTER THIS!!!"

Honorable Mentions: There are too many big shots, goals, and hits to list here, but how about the "moments" that Chase Utley and Jason Kelce had at their parades?

Blunder of the 2000's

Really weird that WIP included this as a category. Do we pick the absolute worst moment, one that ruined a game/season? And how do you classify a "blunder"? Does it need to stand out as unusual, or can it merely be a horrendous play, like allowing Joe Jurevicius to run for miles in the NFC Championship Game? In true "me" fashion, I'm just going to list a few things which vary in their degree of terribleness…

Tomas Perez and the funniest strikeout ever, which I still laugh about.
Steve Mason allowing a goal from the other side of the National Mall to doom the Flyers in their 2016 playoff series versus Washington.
Dom Brown misplaying a ball into an inside-the-park home run, falling into the stands, getting hurt, and never playing in the majors again. I still can't get over this one.
Does the Flyers fan who fell into the penalty box and got beaten up by Tie Domi count?

In the end, I'm going to choose Alshon "Butterfingers" Jeffery and his dropped pass-turned-interception that cost the Eagles dearly in the playoffs against New Orleans. The Eagles weren't a shoo-in to win the game even if he brings in that catch, but it was soul-crushing.

This will conclude Part 1 of my WIP Award selections. Come back next week for the thrilling conclusion.

Remind me again why he wasn't an Eagle for life. (ProFootballHOF.com)

Billy Wagner Blew It in Philadelphia

He was an all-star reliever, but I hope he never makes the Hall of Fame.

Published January 23, 2021

Philadelphia fans like myself hold onto grudges with the best of them. And former Phillies closer Billy Wagner makes an interesting case study. Not as good as Scott Rolen, mind you, but still pretty good. And so, even though I have a creeping feeling of dread that Rolen will unfortunately be elected when the Baseball Hall of Fame announces its 2021 ballot results this week, I'm still fairly heartened that Billy Wagner will continue to find himself on the outside for another year.

And that's because he was insufferable and choked big-time during his two-year tenure with the Phillies. Time for some sour grapes.

Billy Wagner wrote a book in 2013. I haven't read it, but from what I've gathered, he seems to have let go of a lot of the brash intensity that defined him as a player. You can certainly use a healthy amount of that in competitive sports, but even Wagner acknowledged that he took it to extremes. And so I applaud him for growing as a person. But I'm still going to feel cheated by his time in Philadelphia.

Getting Wagner in a trade on November 3, 2003 was a major coup for the Phillies, one of the best during the Ed Wade era. For a team seemingly on the verge of contention and which was moving into a new stadium for the upcoming season, the timing could not have been better. And Wagner was as advertised. He missed time with two separate injuries during that 2004 campaign, but he still managed 21 saves and a 2.42 ERA over 45 games.

Everything seemed fine, even as the Phillies missed the playoffs again that year, but things took a bad turn in 2005.

Wagner was even better on the mound, but his words got him into trouble. He was critical of his teammates, saying things about a lack of “passion and focus”, which immediately made him an unpopular figure in the clubhouse. Even more to Wagner's detriment, he let the fans get to him, largely because of a misunderstanding wherein he believed that the home crowd was seriously booing him for failing to hit 100 mph on the radar gun. Yes, the boos came down when the scoreboard only lit up at 99, but Billy's lack of awareness regarding sarcasm, and his subsequent decision to talk about how the fans made him feel, effectively killed any support he hoped to get.

This brings me to his defining moment with the Phillies, September 7, 2005, a game that I had the displeasure of attending.

Coming down the home stretch of that season, the Phillies were locked in a tight wild card battle with the Astros and a few other teams. But they were hitting the skids, having lost the first two games of the series, and four straight overall. And so, on that night, the Phils desperately needed a win to keep pace, as well as to avoid losing all six of their meetings with Houston on the year.

The Phillies scored three runs in the bottom of the eighth to stake them to a 6-5 lead, and so it was Billy Wagner time for the ninth. He retired the first two hitters on five total pitches, and it looked like a crucial victory was in the books. But a David Bell error and then an infield hit brought Wagner’s old teammate, Craig Biggio, to the plate. Wagner was unable to outduel the future Hall of Famer, with Biggio driving his third pitch over the left field wall for an 8-6 Astros lead that would unsurprisingly turn into a devastating Phillies loss a few minutes later after the Phillies were retired in order by some Houston reliever named Brad Lidge.

It was horrendous. And even though Wagner hardly shouldered all of the blame (and would be lights out the rest of the season, saving six games in the final few weeks), this is all the damage that needed to be done. In what turned into a two-horse race for the wild card, the Phillies finished a single game behind Houston. And this was after going 0-6 against them on the year. Flip any one of those losses, and the Phils would have been in the postseason. To add further insult to injury, the Astros would go all the way to the World Series that year.

Wagner would depart via free agency that offseason, going to the hated Mets. Good riddance. But he seemed to have put one over on his old club, as New York would cruise to the NL East title in 2006, leaving the second place Phillies 12 games back.

Still, Wagner’s personality would catch up to him once more, as he caused the same kinds of issues with the Mets that he had in Philadelphia. And maybe I’m a terrible human being, but I was smugly thrilled when he blew out his arm, although he would go on to pitch effectively once more after he came back.

Years after leaving the Phillies, Wagner softened a bit, but it doesn’t change the way his abrasive manner affected the club and the fans while he was in town. And nothing will ever wipe away the fact that he failed in the most clutch spot he ever found himself in while wearing a Phillies uniform.

It’s probably overly harsh to harp on this one game, but when a borderline great player only makes a brief stopover in your town, you only have time to remember a few moments that stand out. Billy Wagner saved a lot of games in two years for the Phillies, but all of the memorable parts of his tenure were lousy ones. And then he topped it off by going to the Mets.

For all these reasons, I’ll always be against Wagner’s candidacy for the Hall of Fame. And I hope the experts will continue to agree, even though he was admittedly a very fine player.

In the end, true Phillies fans can at least take comfort in Billy Wagner's exclusion from the Hall, even if and when Scott Rolen gets voted in. Because we deserve a small measure of satisfaction every now and then.

I’ll end with this quote from my book (still available on Amazon!)...

Because it’s not just about the stats you put up in this town, it’s how you represent the name on the front of your jersey and the fans of this city as a whole. And Wagner is tough to top as an abject failure in that department.

99 mph arm, 100 mph mouth. (Rich Kane/Icon SMI)

Broadcast Networks for the 2021 Eagles

Because if games can be on Nickelodeon, they can be anywhere.

Published January 8, 2021

Hey, remember sports? Let's do that.

One of the most fun elements of the first round of the NFL playoffs this year is that the matchup between the Bears and Saints, which will air mainly on CBS, will also be broadcast on Nickelodeon. Who knows what kind of crazy stuff they might do, but I can only hope that Guts' Mike O' Malley and Mr. Ernst from "Hey Dude" will be in the broadcast booth.

This all got me to thinking. I know, that's dangerous.

We already know the Eagles' opponents for 2021. Why not cater the content to specific networks? What a great idea. Oh, right, networks pay billions of dollars and this could never happen. Still, I'm going to attempt to make the dream come true by telling you where you can tune in to see your Birds in 2021.

Eagles @ Panthers - This game can be found on Animal Planet. Get it, because they're both animals. Ok, I need a warm-up. Don't judge me.

Eagles @ Falcons - Um...Animal Planet? Nah, we can't repeat any channels here. That's why this bird battle heads on over to Bravo. I'm told that there was some housewives show in Atlanta on that network, so this seems to jive.

Eagles/Giants - Both clashes between these division foes will be on History because of the constant way they'll remind us of this once great rivalry during the game whilst showing Chuck Bednarik's hit on Frank Gifford from 1960, all in an effort to generate some kind of interest. Meanwhile, multiple unnecessary roughness penalties will be called for minute infractions, reminding us all just how much the game has changed. You just can’t murder people anymore.

Eagles @ Broncos - A game played at this altitude can only be found on Oxygen.

Buccaneers @ Eagles - After (insert Eagles QB here) leads the Birds to a surprise victory over Tom Brady and the Bucs, TB12 refuses to shake his hand, validating the decision to air the game on BabyFirst. Yes, that's a real channel.

Chargers @ Eagles - The Chargers have lightning bolts on their helmets so, like, The Weather Channel?

Eagles @ Raiders - Coming from Las Vegas, home of Ghost Adventures’ Zak Bagans, this game could only air on the Travel Channel. Maybe we could even get Don Wildman or Josh Gates in the booth to help get to the bottom of the mystery of how the Eagles’ special teams became so bad. If you don’t watch the channel, you won’t get the joke, sorry.

Eagles/Football Team - Based on how laughable that last game was, although the Eagles totally shouldn’t apologize for it at all, both games between these teams next year will be broadcast on Comedy Central. Because I still can’t take a game featuring “Football Team” seriously.

Eagles @ Lions - The Smithsonian Channel seems like a decent landing spot if the Lions still feature the creaky old arm of Matthew Stafford, fit to be a museum piece at this age. The game could even become an episode of Smithsonian’s “Air Disasters” series if the offenses really struggle.

49ers @ Eagles - Somebody call Joe Kenda and stick this one on ID Network. In a game between the two most injured teams in the league, the bodies are likely to pile up.

Saints @ Eagles - I’m just going to say DIY Network for this one, because I’m running out of interesting choices that won’t alienate specific groups. So let’s steer clear of that and just say that the “Do It Yourself” element of the channel lends itself to...I got nothing. Moving on...

Eagles/Cowboys - If you want the NFL to try and sell you something for several hours that turns out to just be worthless junk, you can bet that you’ll find both Dallas games on QVC.

Chiefs @ Eagles - We conclude with a touching reunion of mentor Andy Reid and protege Doug Pederson that could only happen on the Hallmark Channel. Bonus points if the league makes this game right before Christmas and manages to rope in Hallmark stalwarts Lacey Chabert and Lori Loughlin to join the broadcast, although it would have to be a day game since Loughlin’s ankle bracelet goes off at dusk.

There you have it. Thanks, Nickelodeon, for the inspiration. I hope those Wild & Crazy Kids on the Bears and Saints have a great time on Sunday.

I’m really looking forward to Eagles games airing on these channels next season. They've got to improve on their lousy 2020, because You Can't Do That On Television two years in a row. With any luck, they'll Figure It Out.

And if you thought this was a lame premise for an article and you could do better, then tell me, What Would You Do?

The bromance returns in 2021. (David Maialetti/Inquirer Staff)

Week 17: Iggle Prediggle

Eagles vs. Football Team

Published January 2, 2021

We are almost at the finish line of this wretched season, although the powers that be just had to extend our misery by flexing this game into the Sunday night slot since Washington will be playing for the division title. Of course they did, because nothing can ever be easy, even ending our suffering.

From an Eagles fan perspective, there’s little reason to watch. What are you going to learn about this team that you don’t already know, and will some unexpectedly dominant performance do anything to change the outlook for the offseason/2021? No. The Eagles just need to lose and be done with it, as I posited earlier this week. Thankfully, it appears that the tank is on, with numerous players out for a number of ailments that would suddenly be healed if this game actually mattered for them. Let’s just hope that burn victim Michael Jacquet overcomes his “calf injury” to play this week.

This will give us one last chance to evaluate Jalen Hurts before we head into the offseason, and it’s far from an ideal situation. Plus, since he’s without so much of the supporting cast, you can pretty much throw out any results. Maybe he’s surprisingly good and runs wild, but the sustainability factor of such a thing is low. You couldn't base any future decisions on it. I’d hate to be in this organization’s shoes when it comes to sorting out the QB position this offseason. Do you sell low on Wentz, see what you can get for the kid, or keep them both and have an open competition? There is no palatable scenario, so good luck with that.

Notice that I’m not really talking about the actual game here, because there’s no reason to. No fans will be there to give the Eagles a deserved sendoff of jeers, which would have at least been cathartic to watch. The only suspense will be if the Eagles can manage to lose, as it guarantees that they’ll pick no lower than sixth in this year’s draft. They could even move as high as #3 with some help from other games.

A win, meanwhile, would bump them down a few slots and supposedly make them feel good about themselves by not allowing Washington to celebrate on their home field. They called it the “no hat rule”. Get bent. I understand professional pride and still trying to win, but it would be absolutely infuriating if they put up one of their best performances of the season after lying down like dogs in other games that mattered. Again, though, it looks like these mysterious injuries are conspiring to at least help them achieve the goal of losing on Sunday.

Making this even more ridiculous is the fact that we don’t even know if WFT quarterback Alex Smith will be able to go. If he doesn’t, then Taylor Heinicke will get the call since the team cut dummy Dwayne Haskins this week. And the Eagles’ defense will probably still be overmatched. That’s how bad it’s gotten.

Iggle Prediggles have gone 9-5-1 this year, and I’d really like to get to double digits. Come on, Birds, help me out by losing. Let’s just stick a fork in this year and allow the Washington...team to become probably the worst club to ever make the playoffs. Don’t screw it up by letting the Cowboys or Giants sneak in.

In a welcome bit of symmetry, let’s end this horrible season the same way it began: by losing to a football team without a name.

IGGLE PREDIGGLE: Football Team 26, Eagles 16

Will this be the Eagles' final ever meeting with "the Football Team?" (Inside the Birds)

2020 Eagles Airing of Grievances

By Mike Brown

Published December 29, 2020

Yes, I know that Festivus was last week, but the continuing wretchedness of the Philadelphia Eagles merits a special edition of that Festivus tradition: the airing of grievances. And since 2020 STILL isn't in the books, let's go for it.

I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!

Howie Roseman:

Passing on Justin Jefferson for Jalen Reagor. Jefferson just had one of the best rookie WR seasons ever. At the time of the draft, he was the CONSENSUS next best player at the position when the Eagles drafted. But Howie continued to try to be the smartest man in the room and drafted Jalen Reagor.
Signing Jason Peters to play right guard. Not only had he never played the position before, but this move also delayed any development for younger interior offensive lineman.
Letting Malcolm Jenkins leave. One of the best players in franchise history and unquestioned leader of the defense.
Signing Jalen Mills to play safety. He was league-average as a cornerback. Sure, replace Jenkins.
Letting both Sidney Jones and Rasul Douglas leave without a depth plan at CB. Agree that Jones was a busted pick. However, he was still under contract and was at least serviceable.
Signing Nickell Robey-Coleman and claiming he was a “top-5 slot corner” with no evidence to suggest that was remotely true. Howie struck gold with Patrick Robinson in 2017 and has been riding that high.
Drafting Jalen Hurts with the team's second round pick. At the time, you had a franchise quarterback under contract with absolutely no reason to believe you’d need to use this pick on a young QB. There was no historical precedent for Wentz’s fall. Even if Jalen Hurts ends up being the savior (he isn’t), this was a horrendous misuse of resources.
Failing to draft a cornerback (maybe with that second round pick).
Signing Jake Elliot to an unnecessary contract with prohibitive guarantees.
Signing Jordan Howard. Is he really bringing that much to the table that you can’t play one of the rookies? 7 rushes for 27 yards. Another example of retreading former Eagles instead of evaluating talent already on the roster (other examples: Peters, Vinny Curry, Richard Rodgers aka DickRod).
Drafting JJAW (prior to 2020). Inactive for most of the season while DK Metcalf becomes the next T.O.
Drafting Andre Dillard (prior to 2020). Never showed any promise when healthy. Now supplanted by a 7th round pick who literally never took a snap in a meaningful football game at any level until 2019.
Just for being a smug weasel. QB Factory, lol.

Doug Pederson:

Playing a role in Carson Wentz’s regression. Carson owns a lot of it, but if you are such an offensive guru, you should be able to gameplan better.
Allowing Travis Fulgham to be marginalized by the return of Alshon Jeffery.
Allowing Alshon Jeffery to take snaps from any young WR.
Allowing DeSean Jackson to take snaps from any young WR.
Having John Hightower or Quez Watkins inactive for any game at all this season.
Allowing Jason Peters to be the starting Left Tackle over Jordan Mailata.
Benching Jordan Mailata when Jason Peters returned from injury.
Not benching Carson Wentz after the first Dallas Game.
Any time he punted in opponent territory on 4th and less than 5.
PLAYING FOR A TIE AGAINST THE CINCINNATI BENGALS.
Authoring a book titled “Fearless”, when this is not an accurate description of him (prior to 2020).

Special teams coordinator Dave Fipp:

Allowing Greg Ward to continue to field punts despite having what appears to be very little awareness or skill in the role.
Refusing to let Jalen Reagor field punts. He fielded four punts, and returned one for a TD.
Generally just having the worst special teams unit in the league. The only good part was punter Cameron Johnston.

Carson Wentz:

Going from a top ten quarterback to literally the worst quarterback in the league for no apparent reason.
That’s really it.

Jeffrey Lurie and the Philadelphia Eagles organization as a whole:

There were two enjoyable games this entire season. The team itself has a losing record (22-24-1) since the Super Bowl victory. There are teams that are perennial losers whose ownerships pretend to care but actually couldn’t care less about the product on the field or the fans as long as the money is rolling in. Since the purchase of the Eagles, Mr. Lurie has preached a commitment to excellence. In general, the team has been competitive for the majority of that time. However, it appears that winning the Super Bowl has emboldened management and satisfied ownership, despite the now-clear realization that 2017 was more about luck than stellar roster construction. I’m disgusted with this organization more than at any other time I can remember.

Other than these grievances, 2020 worked out great.

Three unwise men. (fullpresscoverage.com)

Week 16: Iggle Prediggle

Eagles vs. Cowboys

Published December 26, 2020

Remember the last time these teams played, and the Eagles almost lost to Ben DiNucci? Do you also remember that the Birds actually won that game by 14 points, which is their largest margin of victory this season? Despite that, it was the cringiest, most hollow-feeling victory over the Cowboys that any of us have ever seen. In the wake of it, I heard all the usual ‘dumb fan’ takes over the following days about how it felt like a loss and was somehow even worse than the tie against the Bengals. At least those asinine comments were comforting reminders of normal life in 2020.

But, turning to the game at hand, it’s Jalen Hurts time, baby. The Eagles, despite going 1-5 since that last win over Dallas, are somehow still alive in this thing. And their rookie QB is turning heads all over the place after a huge upset win over the Saints and a valiant effort in a losing cause against the Cardinals.

Now he gets his first ever crack at the Cowboys and, even though you can’t call this a marquee matchup, both teams have something to play for. This game could set a nice tone for his career trajectory as it serves as an introduction of what he’ll be expected to do over the next decade or so. What’s that, you say that Carson Wentz still might end up being the long-term QB? Yeah, ok.

The offensive gameplan from Doug and company was pretty good last week, and I’m hoping for more of the same. Miles Sanders will need to at least equal the 17 carries that he had, and Hurts would be well-advised to spread the ball like he did against Arizona. Six Eagles topped 30 yards receiving, including the out-of-nowhere Quez Watkins, last week. Nine players had receptions. For a team without top tier options, this is what you need to do to win. Keep it going.

As for the negative, the defense was once again gouged by a top tier receiver (DeAndre Hopkins), and that trend is going to need to stop here and now. Maybe Darius Slay’s return will help, as he’s got to finally get the better of Amari Cooper or whatever wideout he’s matched up against. The D-line will also need to get back to its sacking ways (looking at you, “Pro Bowler” Brandon Graham), and that should at least be somewhat easier this week against the statue of Andy Dalton than it was against Kyler Murray. Dalton has been very quick to release the ball this year, however, so nothing is guaranteed. In addition, Fletcher Cox’s status is in question as of this writing, so let’s hope he plays, as their ability to turn pressure into sacks will be hindered if they are Cox-less.

As I said, these teams are playing for something, but that could all be rendered moot if Washington wins their game against Carolina, which was moved back a few hours to coincide with the kickoff of this game. At least we’ll all go into this under the guise of it actually mattering, even though that could change as the game wears on. Still, it’s not too much to ask for us to see the Birds give us a late Christmas gift with a win over these bums.

My Iggle Prediggles are 9-4-1 this year, which goes to show you how easy it’s been overall since the Eagles have been generally bad enough that you can predict losses with ease. This, however, is one of the few toss-up games that we’ve come across this year. I’m going to say that the Jalen Hurts Experience keeps rolling, and he scores a big win for the Eagles to set up a winner-takes-the-division clash next week vs. Washington. Or just a regular game that doesn’t matter, but either way, Eagles win.

IGGLE PREDIGGLE: Eagles 30, Cowboys 24

Can't be any worse than their last meeting. I think. (4thandjawn.com)

Hiring Dave Dombrowski a rare good move for the Phillies

Did this salvage a 2020 where they literally did everything wrong?

Published December 16, 2020

Color me surprised that the Philadelphia Phillies signed veteran baseball man Dave Dombrowski to be their new president of baseball operations. And I say that because it flies in the face of a year where the Phillies haven’t done anything right, also seeming to contradict the “woe is us, we’re poor” narrative that the team has leaned on heavily of late.

Don’t get me wrong, as I’m happy that the team seems to have a direction now that a two-time World Series winning executive is on board, even though I’m not totally sure how he fits in with the organization as currently constructed. In the past, Dombrowski has gutted the prospect pipeline to bring in immediate help, and it’s paid off in postseason success. The pain was felt afterwards, but it was worth it. The Phillies currently seem stuck in the middle, however, a far cry from what Dombrowski has dealt with elsewhere. But perhaps this is just the kind of challenge he needed.

Another reason I didn’t see the Dombrowski move coming is that he was tied up in a commitment to bringing a new franchise to Nashville, although he will supposedly continue to function in that role. I’m a bit skeptical that he can pull that off, but as long as it doesn’t conflict with his work in Philadelphia, it shouldn’t matter.

Without completely rehashing the hiring of Dombrowski and what it means for the Phillies going forward, I think we can at least all agree that it was a nice early Christmas gift for us fans who have suffered through a 2020 baseball season where the team has done absolutely nothing right.

Here’s a painful timeline…

January 22 - Announced a slew of veteran signings: Francisco Liriano, Bud Norris, Drew Storen, and Neil Walker. This was part of a disturbing trend from GM Matt Klentak to go for quantity over quality and see if they could catch lightning in a bottle. Walker would play 18 games for the team in 2020, and the rest were all cut. Great job.

February 20 - The Phillies “win” their arbitration hearing against J.T. Realmuto, rather than just giving him the extra money that he requested and laying the groundwork for non-hostile contract negotiations in the future. This started the clock on his countdown to free agency, and has made the prospect of his returning to the Phillies highly questionable ever since.

July 24 to September 27 - Actually played baseball. Were garbage.

August 21 - Acquired Brandon Workman and Heath Hembree from the Red Sox, somehow making an already horrendous bullpen even worse. Workman would go on to post a 6.92 ERA in 14 games, with Hembree sporting a 12.54 ERA in 11 games. He did go 1-0, though, so there’s that.

October 3 - Can’t even fire Matt Klentak correctly, as he “steps down” and is re-assigned to some undetermined role in the organization. My money is on him assisting the pirate beer vendor guy at Citizens Bank Park.

And these are just the blunders that come to mind immediately. You could find many others, both on and off the field, with hardly a mention of anything positive coming out of this organization in 2020. Until now.

This is about the best that Phillies fans could have hoped for, in terms of correcting the course of this organization that feels like it’s on the brink of disaster. Please bring us back from the edge, Dave Dombrowski. If that ends up being the case, then maybe the horrors (baseball-related ones) of 2020 will have been worth it. We won’t know for quite a while, but it’s something to be hopeful about.

Here’s to a much better 2021 for the Philadelphia Phillies. Because it can’t get much worse. Can it?

"I can't make this any worse, can I?" (Jim Davis/Boston Globe)

Flyers new jerseys aren’t bad, but what’s the point?

The NHL’s “reverse retro” line of sweaters doesn’t really make sense for this coming season.

Published November 17, 2020

The Philadelphia Flyers will always be working from somewhat of a disadvantage when it comes to thinking up creative looks for new jerseys. And that’s because the Flying P has been around forever and is too perfect to ever change. Similarly, the orange and black and usually (but not always) white will always and forever be the color scheme for this franchise. And yes I know they’ve ventured out slightly with looks like this.

Overall, though, you can see why it’s pretty difficult for the Flyers to re-invent the wheel. And so we have this new look, their entry into the NHL’s “reverse retro” jersey line. They’re...fine. They look kind of slick, but how many ways can the Flyers move lines and colors around? They’re a bit hamstrung because they don’t have an alternate logo or former color scheme to fall back on. Apparently, this is a flipped version of the mid-’90s “Legion of Doom” team sweaters, but you could have fooled me. In the end, I think that this jersey is a decent addition in the pantheon of Flyers sweaters.

Now, to the other issue. Why is the NHL doing this? The answer is obviously to get people to buy jerseys, of course, because they are really going to be hurting for money if they have to play a shortened season in front of little to no fans. Owing to this factor, introducing this bold and exciting new line of sweaters feels hollow at best and a straight up cash grab at worst. Supposedly, Adidas and the NHL started working on this almost two years ago, but I feel like the process definitely got accelerated once the league started seeing losses a few months back.

It’ll be cool to see the Flyers in these duds, as well as some of the other nice ones that teams have come out with. But it really feels unofficial to me if they’re going to be making their maiden voyage in an empty arena, bubble situation, or some other circumstances that deviate from the norm. Because of that, I’m personally not going to be fully on board with this new look until the Flyers can play in front of a packed Wells Fargo Center wearing them. In much the same way that many elements of sports have seemed artificial lately (or actually are artificial, like pumped-in crowd noise) the reverse retro jerseys feel more like a video game add-on than a real life outfit, at least until we get back to business as usual.

Nobody has seen these jerseys in action on the ice yet, but I think they’ll end up looking pretty good. And I can forgive the rankings that mostly have the Flyers’ new look in the lower third of the league. The most universally applauded reverse retro jerseys, Colorado and Minnesota, pay homage to teams that moved. It was nice of those franchises to wax nostalgic about defunct, loser teams, but the Flyers didn’t have that option. Instead, they did the best they could with a classic crest and a color pattern that is too good to fool with. My only beef is that they could have really gone for it by slapping Gritty right on the jersey. That would have been fantastic, but I guess the world isn’t ready for that.

Each day, I’m getting more and more used to the idea that the 2020-21 NHL season is going to be a wash. In that case, I’ll be fully on board with seeing these jerseys on occasion during the 2021-22 season, assuming things have normalized. But if the NHL only plans on using these sweaters a few times during the upcoming abbreviated season, then it will have been a total waste of time and effort.

In short, I wouldn’t rush out to grab these babies, but maybe next year if they’re still a thing. If they’re never even worn in front of the home fans, however, were they even real? We’ll see what lies ahead.

Someone went on a TJ Maxx shopping spree. (CrossingBroad)

Loup, there it is

Philadelphia Phillies fans might once again be watching former Phils win a World Series elsewhere.

Published October 25, 2020

You can be forgiven if you don't remember left-handed reliever Aaron Loup's brief time with the Philadelphia Phillies.

Brought in from Toronto at the 2018 deadline, Loup had a 4.50 ERA in 9 appearances with the Phils, missing a chunk of time with injury before departing that offseason. And so it probably doesn't really hurt all too much to see him on the mound as part of Tampa Bay's vaulted bullpen that has helped to carry them all the way to the World Series. Along with his teammate Charlie Morton, himself an even shorter-lived Phillie, Loup has a chance to win a ring elsewhere after playing in Philadelphia.

To be fair, this is not unique to this city. The law of averages says that any title-winning team will be comprised of a guy or two who played part of his career elsewhere before landing in his current spot. But I thought it might be interesting to look back on the last decade and examine the cross-section of former Phillies who reached the pinnacle of success after moving on. As a fan of the team, this group will stir up some mixture of pain, indifference, and head scratching.

2010

This one hurt. Pat Burrell, just two years removed from a hero's sendoff in Philadelphia, found himself as part of the Giants club that dispatched the Phillies in the NLCS on the way to a championship. At least Pat the Bat had already won here, though. The same can't be said for Aaron Rowand, who was beloved during his brief time in Philly, but bookended his career with titles for the other two teams he played for besides the Phillies. Fun fact: Rowand's only playoff series loss was the 2007 NLDS when the Phillies were swept by the Rockies. Apart from that, he only ever reached the postseason in 2005 (White Sox) and 2010 (Giants), going the distance in both of those years.

2011

And you thought 2010 was painful? It's already been beaten to death how the 2011 Phillies were the best team in baseball, only to see the St. Louis Cardinals swoop in and deal them a devastating first round loss. But the insult to literal injury is that the Cards employed a trio of former Philadelphia washouts on their World Series roster. Starting pitcher Kyle Lohse had an excellent 2011 regular season for St. Louis. And even though his playoffs left a lot to be desired, he got his ring nonetheless. Utility man Nick Punto, who had started his MLB career with the Phillies a decade earlier, got regular at bats in the playoffs for the Cardinals during their title run. And elderly reliever Arthur Rhodes, who turned 42 during the 2011 World Series, nabbed his first ring and then retired. You may remember him as the guy who went 0-5 with a 5.32 ERA out of the Phillies' bullpen five years earlier.

2012

The Giants did it again. No Burrell. No Rowand. But deadline acquisition Hunter Pence was a key figure for them. All for the low, low price of Tommy Joseph, Seth Rosin, and Nate Schierholtz. No former Phillies were part of the Red Sox' 2013 championship team, but Pence came back for a repeat in 2014 with the Giants as the Phillies tumbled toward the bottom of the standings.

2015

Did you remember that Ryan Madson won the World Series in 2015 with the Royals? Did you even remember that he ever pitched for them in the first place? Well, he did, just for that year. He was pretty dominant in the regular season, posting a 2.13 ERA, and then tossing three scoreless innings in the World Series. Could have fooled me. Again, this one didn’t really hurt, since Madson was a big part of the 2008 Phillies and had already reached his potential here.

2017

After the 2016 Cubs won it all without the help of any former Phillies, the 2017 Astros* got the job done while employing Ken Giles and Charlie Morton. Mixed feelings here. First, while Giles could have been a valuable member of the Phillies’ bullpen for years, the team was right to trade him after the 2015 season. It certainly doesn’t help matters that what they got for him never panned out, but there aren’t too many Phils fans kicking themselves for dealing away Giles, even though he was a part of a title team elsewhere.

The Charlie Morton situation is a bit murkier. He was a nice, under-the-radar signing for the Phillies in 2016, and it wasn’t the team’s fault that he suffered a season-ending injury after just four starts. Maybe you can blame them for not making a big push to re-sign him, but who knew how valuable of a pitcher he would turn into, first for Houston and now for Tampa? Once you remember that we’re talking about the Phillies, though, it all makes sense. Even the smart moves end up blowing up in their faces.

2019

The 2018 Red Sox didn’t feature any former Phillies, but the Nationals had Howie Kendrick in 2019. Kendrick had played for the Phillies in 2017, and he looked really good when he was healthy enough to stay on the field. But nobody really batted an eye when they dealt him to the Nats for a prospect they don’t have anymore and international bonus slot money. Good for Kendrick that he’d settle in as a valuable contributor in DC, because it wasn’t going to happen in Philadelphia. It was another decent move by the Phillies which didn’t pay off for them but that benefitted another team down the line.

This all brings us back to the present, with Aaron Loup and Charlie Morton (again) trying to pull off the feat of winning a World Series despite the hindrance of having spent part of their careers with the Phillies. It’s a tale as old as time. As stated, common sense says that these things will happen. But it remains part of the minutiae that us sports nuts obsess over, probably way too much.

His arm looks tiny. (Getty Images)

Hitchcock Movies as Philadelphia Sports

What would The Master of Suspense say about the Philly sports scene?

Published October 23, 2020

This year marks the 60th anniversary of director Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho". Owing to this, and since it's also the spooky season, we've decided to re-work some of his titles into tales related to Philadelphia sports. Get ready to be scared...

The Birds - Just as the original film famously had no soundtrack, this Philly-centric remake is also missing a lot of vital parts. In the end, though, it’s not scary at all because the birds just get injured every time they try to do something.

Frenzy - A thriller about NHL teams making aggressive moves in free agency. Flyers GM Chuck Fletcher is uncredited.

Lifeboat - A harrowing tale starring Carson Wentz, surrounded by a sea of nothingness, with zero support from his team.

The Lady Vanishes - Originally about the Kate Smith statue, this was re-worked into a stark look at Claude Giroux’s 2020 playoff performance for the Flyers.

To Catch a Thief - This screenplay was written by Phillies catchers about their experiences working with Jake Arrieta. Zing!

I Confess - Over a decade and a half after his greatest controversy, Donovan McNabb comes clean and admits he puked in the Super Bowl.

Shadow of a Doubt - A tale of Howie Roseman’s machinations behind the scenes as he prepares for the NFL draft. The film rightly concludes that he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Blackmail - Suspenseful account of espionage that shows how Andy MacPhail continues to hold down a job. Let’s just say he’s sitting on something good about John Middleton.

The Man Who Knew Too Much - Sad story of how the 76ers didn't bring back Jimmy Butler, even though he actually knows how to win games, because he didn’t fit with what they were trying to do.

The Trouble with Harry - In the actual Hitchcock film, the titular character is dead the whole time, with locals trying to figure out how to get rid of the body. The new version concerns the corpse of Harry Kalas, which still manages to call a better game than Tom McCarthy.

The Wrong Man - Poorly received film about Brett Brown that took seven years to complete. Other Philadelphia figures considered for the title role were Gabe Kapler, Dave Hakstol, and Chip Kelly.

Vertigo - Panic ensues when the Phillies look so far up the standings that they can actually see the Braves.

Rope - A Jim Schwartz biopic, since he's running out of it.

Stage Fright - Aaron Nola takes the mound in September, putting everyone on the edge of their seats. Don’t watch if you’re squeamish.

The 39 Steps - Not really a film, as it’s basically just a slow motion video of what Jason Peters takes before every snap.

I hope I’ve sufficiently covered your favorite Hitchcock film and Philly sports lightning rod. Bonus points if you noticed that I made two Jimmy Stewart movie titles into comments about guys named Jim/Jimmy. You didn't notice that, though. Anyway, come back next time for more obscure and specific stuff that you can’t get anywhere else, nor would you want to.

Didn't he coach the Flyers at one point? (TelegraphIndia)

Phillies fans might as well root for the Braves

Maybe this can embarrass the Phils into some sort of positive action.

Published October 15, 2020

I never have been a supporter of “America’s Team”, and I never will be. Cut me open, and I’ll bleed Phillies red forever. Also, that’s just the color of my blood. But when it comes to what remains of these MLB playoffs, Phillies fans should just throw up their hands and hope the Atlanta Braves win.

Why?

Because shame and inadequacy can be powerful motivators to improve, and an NL East rival taking home the trophy might just help the Phillies in some form. No, the players aren’t going to start playing harder all of a sudden if they see the Braves win, but it might provide a necessary kick in the pants to the organization to get its “S” together so that they can become the next NL East club to win it all.

Prospects for this are dim at the moment, but you’ve got to start somewhere. At the very least, the Phillies have Bryce Harper locked down for his entire existence, as well as a studly looking Alec Bohm. They’ve also got a solid 1-2 punch at the top of the rotation for the next couple years. Beyond that, there are a lot of question marks, like whether J.T. Realmuto will re-sign or if Rhys Hoskins will return to form once he recovers from his surgery. It’s far from perfect, but it’s what we’ll have to go forward with for now.

This certainly pales in comparison to those Bravos, who look like the class of the division for years to come, and so it will be incumbent on the Phillies to make moves to keep up with the Joneses. That’s a phrase that worked a lot better when Chipper and Andruw were in Atlanta.

Again, why does it make a difference whether the Braves win it all or fall short in their quest?

It has to do with the competitive balance of things. When the Phillies won the World Series in 2008, they continued a run of divisional dominance for three more years. That era crashed and burned in 2012, but the Phillies coasted on past success for several years. In fact, between 2009 and 2018, the NL East was the only division in baseball that didn’t win a title. And so it was easy for Phils’ management to point and say “Look how hard this is, none of our biggest rivals are winning championships either. Give us some more time”.

Well, guess what? Time’s up.

With the Nationals breaking through last year and the Braves getting dangerously close, the Phillies can no longer offer up such garbage. They need to get back to being a winning club, a playoff club very soon. This year would have been nice, what with nearly the entire league making the postseason. But they failed to even do that, thanks to the worst bullpen this side of my dad’s over-50 league.

Phillies fans have felt this frustration and embarrassment before (and, let's face it, we'll feel it again). Normally you wouldn't want things to get any worse by seeing a rival win a championship, but at this point, what does it matter? The fear of becoming irrelevant as the teams around them fulfill their promise is what the Phillies need. The Phils are far enough removed from Tampa and LA that they wouldn't feel any additional heat if either of those clubs won this year. But a Braves win would make things even more uncomfortable in Philadelphia, which is painfully necessary.

The fact that my wife is a Braves fan is not coloring my opinion here. (I know, I know.) While I want her to be happy, I grew up detesting that team, so I never want to see them succeed under typical circumstances. But drastic times call for drastic measures, and I think that Phils fans should be supportive of the Braves at the moment. If they win it all, maybe the Phillies will admit how far away they are from accomplishing a similar feat. And perhaps they'll start to make the right moves to turn this dumpster fire around.

Then again, maybe they're hopeless and will continue to be so, regardless of what other teams find the winning formula. Call me a glutton for punishment, but the Phillies need as many hard lessons as possible right now.

And no, I'm not going to say "Go Braves".

Crap, I said it.

Ok, let's not get carried away. (David J. Griffin/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images)